Too Scared to lose you
by CarbyLOVE2
Summary: FINAL 2 CHAPTERS UP!!! HOPE U ALL ENJOYED ~please R
1. Too Scared To Lose You

ABBY:  
  
This has been on my mind for way too long. I need to talk to him, he has a right to know how I feel. I know we promised we wouldn't hide from each other anymore, but I've been pacing around this room for an hour now, and the fact is....I am hiding.  
  
I love him to death, I really do. People always wonder that when were together, about him making me happy. I never make much of it though. He's been my best friend ever since I can remember. He's always helped me through so much and even now that were dating, He's still here for me when I need him. I'm just scared that..what happens if we grow apart? Will I lose everything, including his friendship? I can't let this happen we gotta talk- Oh, no. Moment of truth, Abby. He's home.  
  
"Hey" He smiled as he dropped a pizza box on the kitchen table and kissed me warmly on the lips.  
  
"Hi" I sigh trying not to make my pain too obvious.  
  
"You okay, Abby?"  
  
" Yeah, I'm fine" I say as I turn around and not face him." Okay..Maybe I'm not.  
  
"I didn't think so...whats wrong?"  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
She takes my hand and pulls me over to the couch. That look in her eyes is scaring me. I hope she doesn't want to break up. I love her to death, I really do, I can't lose he rnow. Am I overreacting? Probably.  
  
"John" she said holding my hand.  
  
Okay, maybe I'm not overreacting, she called me John.  
  
"Look, Carter, these past eight months have been THE most amazing times of my life, because I got to spend them all with you, but.." She began  
  
"But?"  
  
"ever since our lips touched for the first time, I've had something on my mind, and I got to tell you. I can't take it anymore" She admitted starting to cry.  
  
"Can't take what?" I ask softly wiping away her tears.  
  
there was a silent akward pause as I waiting impatiently for a response.  
  
"I'm scared." she whispered  
  
I stopped for a second to try and think about what she could be so scared of. I can't really imagine. I can't."Scared of What?"  
  
"Of" She sniffled."of losing you."  
  
I pull back and lift her chin as I stare into her eyes. "Why would you lose me?"  
  
Abby took a deep breath and looked down as she studdered." I just.. I .. all my life I've been afraid to attach myself to someone, and your the only person I could get this close with and...one stupid little thing.. could destroy us.  
  
she's right. but we got to be strong.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like, a stupid fight about my drinking.. or.. I don't know."  
  
"I won't let it." I stop and touch her delicate fingers as I intertwine them with mine." Why do you think that would happen?"  
  
"because... It could."  
  
" It won't..i promise. I care about you too much to not acknowlege the way I fel about you, even if we were just friends. I couldn't stand it when we worked different shifts sometimes. and the thought of you was the only reason I got up in the morning. You always will be"  
  
She practically attacked me into a hug right then, but I didn't care. I love her..YES I love ABBY. I can't tell her yet though. I mean I want to. I would if she asked me to .. it's just that we've only been going out for a little bit and I don't know if she feels -  
  
"I love you, Carter" she whispered into my ear.  
  
Wrong again John.  
  
"I love you too, Abby." I kiss her softly on the forehead."Lets go to bed."  
  
"Okay" she agreed as we got up and got halfway to the bedroom."what about the food?"  
  
"Ever have pizza for breakfast?"  
  
"No." she laughed. I love when she laughs.  
  
"It's good." I smile." Trust me. 


	2. Watching You Sleep

CARTER:  
  
I love waking up first and watching her sleep. She's so beautiful. I love they way her hair cascades around her shoulders as she lays on her side facing me, smiling. The way she yawns... god it's so adorable. I still lay here day after day thinking, what did I do so wonderful to deserve someone so good like her? I'm the luckiest guy in the world! I'm sure every guy says it about his girlfriend, but she's not like other girlfriends. She's not just my girlfriend, she's my best friend, my savior, my shoulder to cry on, my gift from god, my guardian angel......my only reason for living at this point.  
  
I wish I could keep watching her sleep, but she's waking up. I must be thinking too loud again.  
  
"Hey" she smiles as she rubs my cheek.  
  
I bring my hand up to her face and kiss her gently on the lips."Hey yourself." I say smiling. I keep staring pretending not to notice that shes laughing lightly.  
  
"Carter, your staring again."  
  
"Sorry" I admit."It's kinda hard not to."  
  
"I'm sorry." She laughs  
  
"Don't be." I take a deep breath and sit up."How about that pizza?"  
  
  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
"I thought you were kidding last night?"  
  
"Nope." he smiled and stood up.  
  
"okay, go and heat it up.I'll be there in a minute."  
  
I watch him closely, everything he does, as he dissapears and I turn around. As I walk toward the bathroom, I feel two arms wrap lovingly around my waist and a chin on my shoulder.  
  
"What are you doing?" I smile as I see our reflection in the mirror. this moment is so perfect.  
  
"Feel better?"  
  
I take a deep breath and grin. "Yeah.Your off today right?"  
  
"Yeah, I was thinking we could spend the day on our Asses." He laughed.  
  
"As long as we get some excersize."  
  
"Well.."He began as he spun me around."Theres the walk from the TV to the fridge, and back."  
  
"Carter!"  
  
"Oh yeah.. and you got the long walk down the hall to the bathroom. And you know, you lose calories when you kiss.." he began suductively  
  
"good to know" I smile flirtatiously.  
  
I love when he jokes around like this. he's so funny. Even when I'm pissed off, he still sounds funny.  
  
"how about we go for a walk later... lose some of the calories we gained all day?"  
  
"What if we never gain any?" Of course he chuckled, but he agreed. We love spending time like that together, alone.. walking.. no where in mind to actually go...  
  
"where to?"  
  
"What?" I ask him.  
  
"The walk. where to?"  
  
"Oh" I smile." honestly. I dont know." 


	3. 4 Simple Words

ABBY:  
  
I think we fell asleep watching Rush Hour. I love that movie. You know why? Because it makes Carter laugh, and when he laughs, I laugh.  
  
Speaking of Carter, where the hell is he? I reall don't feel like getting up. I'll just wait- Here he is.  
  
"where'd you go?"  
  
"Bathroom." He smiled as he sat down and took my hand.  
  
I look down and laugh. "I hope you washed your hands."  
  
"Haha. funny." He smiles.  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
I love times like this when she thinks she's funny. I find her funny, even if I AM pissed off. shes always making me laugh. I'm in Love.  
  
"So, how about that walk?" I ask as i smile.  
  
"Let's go." she pulls me out the door as we walk along, her head on my shoulder, my hand around her waist. We just walk. And It seems as though no matter where we want to go, we end up at that bench. OUR bench.  
  
She takes a seat and pulls me down next to her as she licks her ice cream and looks out over the city. I can watch her forever, but I want some of that Ice cream.  
  
"You know, that isn't healthy." I remind her.  
  
"Want some?" She asks holding it out.  
  
She knows me all too well.  
  
"Hell yes."  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
I'm sitting here holding his hand and staring at him in astonishment. He ate my whole ice cream cone. What a pig! My pig. I love him! I curl up to him closer and he takes my hand and leans down , giving me a spine tingling kiss right along my collar bone.  
  
"what was that for?" I ask.  
  
He smiles and shrugs as I throw my head back and look to the sky. I close my eyes and feel smething being moved around on my hand and I open my eyes.  
  
"Carter." thats all I managed to get out, staring at this beautiful diamond ring on my finger. I'm starting to cry, I can't help it. In one split second, which seemed like forever, he asked me.  
  
"Will you marry me?" 


	4. A Magical night

ABBY:  
  
Finally. Oh my god, I caught my breath. We've been sitting here in silence for two whole minutes. way too long. I'm scared if I open my mouth I'll cry. But I want to say something. I do.  
  
" Yes."  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
I don't know what she's thinking right now. but I'm so happy she said yes. I wanted to propose to her the first time we kissed.  
  
I'm sitting here, still holding her, wondering what she's thinking. she sits up and looks into my eyes as I pull a stray strand of hair away from her face.  
  
"What are you thinking?" I manage to ask before smiling and a tear rolls down my cheek. I've never cried in front of anyone but my mom before.  
  
"That" she started and got choked up."That I finally found what I've been looking for my whole life.......You."  
  
I pause and look into her eyes for a long time, trying to remember the last time I've felt so... whole. I never have. But before anything else happens... I gotta make something up to her.  
  
"Let's go." I smile.  
  
"Go where?"  
  
"To get you another Ice cream."  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
God. He's so thoughtful. I love when he does little things like this to make me happy. It makes me feel like I'm the only thing In the world that matters to him. This is what made me fall in love with him in the first place.  
  
"Here." He said handing me a chocolate ice cream cone.  
  
" Oh, thanks."  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
Everything seems different.Nothing is the same anymore. As I'm walking with her next to me now, I don't feel like Just "Carter" anymore (even though I love it when she calls me that.) but I feel like JOHN CARTER. She makes me complete.  
  
"Carter." She calls from behind. I hadn't noticed she'd stopped walking.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"I can't walk anymore."  
  
I smile."get on."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
I nod and she jumps on my back. I love when she rides on my back. I could walk like this forever...  
  
"Carter."  
  
"what?" Im pulled from my thoughts.  
  
" Keys?"  
  
"Were home already?" I can pass time so easily thinking of her.  
  
She opens the door and we step inside."Im going to get changed." I say and leave her to the television in the den.  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
He's so adorable, standing there in the bedroom. I'm such a dork. I'm wathing him get changed. he's just so cute. I love when he wears those pajamas! They're red and blue flannel pants (very soft) and no shirt. (very sexy). So perfect.  
  
"Whats on?" He asks as he plops down on the couch beside me and rests his head on my shoulder.  
  
"I missed Fear factor." I fakely pout.  
  
"Oh, did you?" He says sarcastically."that sucks."  
  
"Shut up!" I always laugh. I always do."I'm so tired."  
  
He turns to me and gives me a devlish look."are you?"  
  
I nod and he pulls me closer to him as we stand up together."We should go to bed then."  
  
I love when he smiles like that, It still makes me go weak at the knees to this very day."Okay."  
  
He does this all the time. He picks me up and carries me all the way to the bedroom and leans on top of me as we begin to kiss passionately and take our time removing each others clothes, not that hes many on anyway.(wink) And then he takes total control. I love it.  
  
I can't believe I went so long without being able to taste him, to touch him. He's amazing, he knows just what to do and just when to do it.  
  
"Carter.."  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
She's amazing. She's here, under me, staring into my eyes and I'm holding her tight. But for some reason it feels different. but definately a GOOD different.  
  
"Abby...."  
  
We enjoy this every night. Every night she's so amazing to. I don;t know what it is. I just.. I.... I think we fit together perfectly. And thats how I know we belong together. forever.  
  
She's as tired as I am right now, and we both have to work tomorrow. I don't want this to stop. this feeling.... love. I shouldnt have to worry though. Were getting married.  
  
"Night Abby."  
  
She pulls me closer to her, drapes an arm over my stomach and kisses me one last time before she closes her eyes. I love watching her sleep. I really do. But I can hardly keep my eyes open now. Maybe I'll wake up a little early in the morning. 


	5. A Wedding Plan

CARTER:  
  
"okay, so, May?" she asks taking notes down on paper for the wedding.  
  
Shes so adorable when shes stressed out like this.  
  
"Sounds great. as soon as possible." I smile, agreeing with her and pulling her from her chair to the couch across the room.  
  
"Turn around." I whisper into her ear as ui begin massaging her neck."How does that feel?"  
  
" great...." she happily moaned."That feels great..."  
  
"I have some hidden talents." I laugh.  
  
"Hey" Susan said walking into the lounge to get coffee." Hey, didn't you know it's against Weaver's rules to do that in here unless your a lesbian.  
  
"Funny." I laugh as Abby puts her hand up to show Susan the ring.  
  
"Your not!" she yelled and laughed.  
  
I nod happily as I pull Abby into my arms playing with the ring on her finger.  
  
"Oh my god!" She yelled. " Come here you two!"  
  
she gave us both big hugs and ran out of the lounge.  
  
I take a deep breath and smile at Abby." I'm giving it fifteen minutes and the hospital knows."  
  
She turned to me and laughed."I wouldn't even give it that long."  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
I love when I make him laugh like this. He's got such a beautiful smile and still, It makes me go weak at the knees.  
  
" I'm off now.. you?" I ask.  
  
" two more hours and I'm yours."  
  
"Aww... ".I complain. "I was really looking foward to - " he cut me off as I began to say it.  
  
"Don't remind me." he sighed. "Now that's all I 'll able to think about all shift."  
  
"Good." I smile as he begins to nuzzle my neck." Carter...don't, your gonna regret it in a few minutes.."  
  
"Aw. okay. I'll walk you out." he said and grabbed our coats and we got up and walked out.  
  
Why is everyone clapping for us? Oh no. Did they all just find out? this is funny. there all clapping for me and Carter!  
  
I turn to Carter who looks at his watch and laughs." You win. Seven minutes." 


	6. GoodBye For Now

CARTER:  
  
I really don't want her to leave me. It's the night before our wedding and all I want is to hold her close. I want to fall asleep with her in my arms like she does every night. I hate how the groom can't see the bride on the wedding day until at the church. So what? I'll blinfold myself. All I need to do is her voice.  
  
"Carter." I hear a familiar and distant voice."Carter!"  
  
"What?" I'm yanked from my thoughts. It's not Abby. It's Susan. All I can do is sigh.  
  
" You okay?" she asks. " Big day tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah..." I sigh again." I just...I wanna wake up with her in my arms. tomorrow is supposed to be OUR day ya know?"  
  
" I hate torturing you, but no can do. She's staying with me tonight and you'll see her tomorrow at noon."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Don't worry, when you see her tomorrow, she'll take your breath away."  
  
"Susan, she already does. She doesn't have to wear a white gown to do that."  
  
"You really love her, don't you Carter?"  
  
"Yeah, I always have." I admit. Which I never have done before today. It's a great feeling. Yes. it is.  
  
Just then, Abby walked in all ready to leave with Susan."You ready, Susan?"  
  
"Yup." she smiled looking at me.  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
I really appreciate everything Susan is doing for me, but truthfully... I don't want to leave him. I feel unsafe without him. And I don't think I'll sleep tonight, and I'll look like hell at my wedding tomorrow.  
  
"Come on Abby."  
  
"Okay." I say as i go to Carter and wrap my arms around his neck and look into his eyes."bye. for now."  
  
"I love you , Abby."  
  
"I love you too. I'll see you at noon."  
  
As I said that he nodded and gave me the saddest look I've ever seen. I leaned in and passionately kissed him on the lips and pulled away."good night."  
  
"Come on love bugs." Susan laughed.  
  
As I began to walk out Carter grabbed my hand and pulled my ear close to his lips. "Take her couch." He whispered in my ear.  
  
I gave him a puzzled look and then looked at the floor so Susan wouldn't understand.  
  
"I uh.. I love you too. G'night."  
  
" I'll see you tomorrow. maybe sooner!" He yelled as we walked out.  
  
"NO!" Susan laughed. "GO Carter." 


	7. A Not so Lonely Night

ABBY:  
  
Me and Susan had a great time tonight! Well, she did. I couldn't stop thinking about poor Carter. I know how much he wanted to be together tonight. I'm just settling into bed. I'm so tired.  
  
"Goodnight, Susan, and thanks."  
  
"Are you sure you don't want my guest bed? The couch is so uncomfortable."  
  
"No, I'm fine. Thanks."  
  
"Okay then, goodnight."  
  
  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
Getting myself coffee has never felt so lonely before. Eating dinner by myself has never felt so lonely. I'm lying here in my bed trying to think of the last time I've gone to bed so lonely. It's been a very long time.  
  
Why the hell do I feel so terrible? Maybe It's because I love her so much, that I'm not me without her. Thats it... I need more coffee.  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
Susan walked into her bedroom, to her comfortable bed, and here I am. On the couch. Carter told me to take the couch. For what god damn reason! I'm gonna look like hell tomorrow if I don't sleep. What's that? Someones knocking on the door, lightly. Could it be him? God, let it be him. I jump up and tip toe to the door and open it.  
  
"Carter." I sigh as he pulls me into a hug and holds me for a while."What are you doing here?"  
  
"I had to see you, I'm sorry. I was trying to sleep, and everytime I rolled over, I felt a cold spot on the bed, and .. I just couldn't bear it." He laughed. I started to laugh to as I pulled him inside and shoved him up against the door in a passionate kiss and pull away.  
  
" I love you." I smile."  
  
"I love you too." He smiles back.  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
I roll over in bed. Oh no. It's not my bed. I sit up and freak out. It's Susan's couch and Abby's right next to me. I look at the clock. It's 8:30. I give Abby a kiss on the forehead and run out the door.  
  
I lean agianst the outside door wanting to go back inside. I want to spend this morning with her. Susan will shoot me if she knows I came here last night. Dammit! I gotta go pick up my tux.  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
I turn on my side and reach over to touch his face. He's gone. I had forgotten I'd spent the night at Susans and got a little worried. Then I sat up and realizes I wasn't at home, befor eI screamed his name or said something aloud.  
  
"Hey sleepy head," Susan greets me. Shes a morning person. how the hell does she do it?" Come have some breakfast."  
  
"Okay." I get up and walk to the table.  
  
"How was your night on the couch?" She asks out of pure curiosity. I dont think she knows.  
  
I smile at her remembering Carter comming over last night." wonderful." 


	8. Needing To See You

ABBY:  
  
Im so nervous. I feel sick. I don't think I can go through with this without crying, ah that's alright. I haven't even seen him since eight thirty this morning, and now he's not here to tell me we'd be okay.  
  
"Ten minutes." Susan said sticking her head in the door of the room." You okay?"  
  
"No..." I cry shaking my head."I want to see John."  
  
"Abby." She tried to fight me. bad move."You'll see him very soon just-" I cut her off.  
  
"Get, Carter.NOW."  
  
"Okay, Okay."  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
"Straighten your tie, John." My dad bugged.  
  
God, Im so nervous. I wanna see her so bad. Damn these stupid traditions.I'm so nervous in fact, I'm shaking and I can't keep my tie straight.  
  
"Carter" Susan called me to the door. Right away I knew something was up because she was mine and Abby's messeger, all morning we kept sending messeges back and forth to each other by Susan. It was fun, but this time.. she didn't have a funny look on her face.  
  
"What's wrong? Is Abby okay?"  
  
"She's really shaken up, she wants to see you.Now."  
  
As soon as those words came out of her mouth, I practically shot across the back of the church and stopped at Abby's door, quietly opening it.  
  
"Carter!" she said as she got up and ran to me as I pulled her in to a hug.  
  
Man, was she gorgeous, I mean, she always is, but today it's different, for some reason she looks even more radiant then this morning. But its not the gown. Its her eyes. Theyre telling me how much they love me. they've never done that before.  
  
"What's wrong Abby? Please tell me." I ask as I hold her close to me.  
  
she leans back and stares into my eyes as she begins to weap again." I just wanted to see you." She smiled.  
  
"You don't know how happy that makes me." I smile back as the bells begin to ring.  
  
"The bells, theyre ringing." she stopped crying.  
  
"I have to.I'll be at the altar. Eric is outside, waiting to give you away." I said and kissed her one last time.  
  
"I'll see you in a few minutes, John." She gazed at me.  
  
"I'll be waiting for you." 


	9. I do

ABBY:  
  
"Hey." I say to my brother as he takes my arm and we wait impatiently for the music to cue us in.  
  
"congratulations, sis." He smiles.  
  
I just nod. then it starts. The doors to the chapel open up. The whole church is standing, watching us, watching me. I'm walking down this isle thinking, in an hour, me and Cart- John, will be bound together for life. I go weak at the knees at the thought. I wonder what it feels like. If it feels anything like I feel now, I may just die of happiness before I say I do.  
  
As they all sit down, I see him there. On the altar, he stands... watching me. We're approaching the altar, Eric turns to me and I squeeze his hand gently as I mouth to him silently.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
He takes my hand and puts it in Johns and sits dow. John smiles at me and pulls me up to the altar with him and pulls the vail away from my face.  
  
I'm crying now, seriously crying...but these are happy tears, I can't control them. This is the happiest day of my life. He's crying to, I think....well his eyes are tearing.. I've never seen him do that before.  
  
"Do you, John, take Abby to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, to honor and cherish, for richer for poorer, through sickness and in health, till death do us part?" The priest began.  
  
He looks up at me and smiles as a small tear rolls down his cheek."I do."  
  
My heart just stopped. I think I'm having a heart attack. It's my turn now and I just can't wait.  
  
"Do you, Abby, take John, to be your lawful wedded husband to have and to hold, to honor and cherish, for richer or poorer through sickness and in health till death do us part?"  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
She runs her thumb up and down my hand for a second, which seemed like a long time and she squeezed it tight as she said it.  
  
"I do."  
  
"With the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride." He smiled.  
  
I take a step foward, pull her close to me and press my lips to hers holding it for a few seconds. She put her hand on my cheek as I pulled away and then I led her down the isle to our limo.  
  
"Mrs. Carter." I say as I open the limo door and help her in. Then I run around the other side and jump in as we pull away. We both take a deep breath as we hold each others hands.  
  
"How do you feel?" She asks me smiling.  
  
I pause for a moment and play with her fingers before I look up."complete."  
  
The entire carride after that, we spent making out in the back seat, I kissed every inch of her I could without removing her dress, or making it look like we DID do something.  
  
The limo stops and the driver opens the door for us. We both step out and walk up the millions of steps to the reception hall.  
  
"Can we get out of here, John?" She asked half jokingly." That was fun."  
  
"Oh" I laughed. "The best is yet to come....." 


	10. The Reception

ABBY:  
  
Me and carter walk hand in hand, to a huge crowd of the closest people we know best. "The bride and the Groom, everyone!" the DJ shouts. "It's time for the first dance..from this moment."  
  
John puts his hand out and pulls me slowly onto the floor by my waist. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and i pull him closer. I rest my head in the crook of his neck enjoying every moment hoping it could last forever. I'm crying now, Im so happy. I hope he doesn't notice.  
  
  
  
SUSAN:  
  
This is unbelieveable. Watching them. they're perfect for each other. I should've seen it before. Abby is the luckiest person I know because Carter...He's the best friend anyone could ever have, and i trust him, he knows that. Everyone can trust Carter. That's what makes him so great. Here we go.. I'm crying now too. Stop it Susan.  
  
I'm standing here as the song is ending and a new one is starting. I see Carter motioning me over toward him and Abby. I slowly make my way onto the floor.  
  
"What's up, Carter?"  
  
"Would you like to dance?" He smiles.  
  
I take a quick look at Abby and she smiles as she takes her brother's hand.  
  
"Carter's LIKE my brother. He gets annoying like one...but then again, he's loving, compassionate...he's everything I've ever looked for in a friend, and I have him as one.  
  
He leans in close and whispers into my ear. "Thank you."  
  
"for what?" I ask half jokingly.  
  
"Everything."  
  
"No problem. Anything for you two."  
  
  
  
ERIC:  
  
For the first time in like....4 years, I'm here...holding MY sister...telling her everythings gonna be okay like she did for me when we were younger. I'm gonna miss her, sure..but John's a great guy. He'll take good care of her. I know it.  
  
"Eric?" she asks.  
  
"Yeah?" I lean into her.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
" No problem. Im just sorry Mom couldn't be here."  
  
"That's okay." She paused. " All the family I need is here."  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
  
  
As I pull away to go find Carter, he comes up from behind me and whispers into my neck.  
  
"Two more hours..."  
  
"The whole reception was great. I threw the boquet, Kerry caught it.... and we did the whole " Take off the Garder with your mouth(for the groom) Carter liked that. I'm starting to think maybe that's why Luka didn't bother comming. That hurt. even though he IS my ex, he's still my friend. He's so hostile tot he whole John and me thing. I just think he needs to get over it. "You ready?" He asks kissing me.  
  
"Yeah." 


	11. Precious Moments

CARTER:  
  
Our flight left a few hours ago, we're on our way to Hawii. Abby wanted to go there, I do too. It's romantic, deserted (in some spots) and Its tropical (unlike chicago).  
  
Were about twenty minutes to landing and Abby isn't looking so good. I put my hand over hers as she stares hopelessly out the window.  
  
"You okay?" I ask.  
  
She turns to me and smiles as to reassure me everything is alright and I touch her forehead.  
  
"You feel warm."  
  
"I'm fine, John, really.. i just..." She began before she got up and ran to the bathroom. I followed up behind her leaning against the door waiting until i stop hearing heaving noises to open it.  
  
She opens the door and I squeeze myself in.( god those bathrooms are tight)  
  
"I told you you felt warm."  
  
"Really, Carter I'm fine."  
  
"No your not." I said firmly. "Come back and sit down, Have a drink of water."  
  
"Okay." She finally agreed as she followed me back to the seats. She sat down and laid her head across my lap as i pull a blanket over her to keep her warm.  
  
"Better?"  
  
"Thanks." she tried to smile.  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
I'm feeling alot better. Well, not really. I just keep thinking if I'm better, I'll get better. So much for reverse psycology. Were comming up to the house that we rented for two weeks. It's beautiful. Oh My god.  
  
"Oh my god, john!"  
  
As I turned my head to look at him, he swept me off my feet and carried me into the house. I marveled at everything inside. It's the house I've always wanted to live in but couldn't afford. now I get to share it for two weeks with the MAN of my dreams. What a combo.  
  
"What are you doing?" I laugh as he carries my up the stairs to the master bedroom and lays me down on the bed as he pulls the comforter over me.  
  
"Your sick, rest a while while I make dinner."  
  
"your making dinner?" I giggle. "Thats something new."  
  
"Well so is this, but were trying it anyway." He joked. god hes so funny sometimes." Look out the window."  
  
I turned around and opened the curtains. I couldn't believe what I saw. It was an ocean view, perfect, the waves were perfect... the temperture, the sounds...When I turned around he was gone.  
  
"Abby."  
  
"huh?" I ask as he's lightly shaking me, (I think I fell asleep)  
  
"You feeling any better?"  
  
I sit up and take a deep breath as I smile at him." yeah."  
  
"Okay, then. Dinner is ready."  
  
He takes my hand and leads me out on to the beach, to a picnic blanket."Sit."  
  
I take a seat and he turns around." I'll be right back, I forgot something."  
  
I sat silently by myself for a good ten minutes, reflecting.thinking.wondering. waiting. I'm hungry.I must be feeling better.  
  
"Sorry I took so long." he said as he sat down." dinner."  
  
"what?" I laugh  
  
He pulls up a basket and opens it. An ice cream sundae.  
  
"Carter..." I grin.  
  
" I know your stomach wan't feeling well, but I know how much you loves sundaes so..."  
  
"Thank you. I love it." I whisper as I lean over and kiss him passionately.  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
We've been sitting on this beach for nearly three hours, just watching the sunset. Abby always said she loved sunsets but never got to see a descent one. Her head is on my shoulder..she's still finishing the melted ice cream.  
  
These are the moments I cherish the most, ya know? The quiet times like these where nothing in the world matters except us.And nothing can ruin that.  
  
"Carter."  
  
"Yeah?" I speak for the first time in a while.  
  
"Look at the sun."  
  
"Yeah, it's beautiful."I pause.".you feel any better?"  
  
"Much.. but.." she began as she turned to me." It's our wedding night.. I'm tired.... I think we should...get to bed...." She finished seductivly.  
  
"Me to."  
  
I take her hand and I lead her up the beach, to the house and upstairs.  
  
"Close your eyes." I tell her.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just do it."  
  
"She does it and I pick her up and carry her back into the bedroom as she opens her eyes and gasps.  
  
"Oh my god!"  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
  
  
The room is completly covered in rose petals. Its amazing. There are even candles lit too. How does he do this? he still makes me go weak with a single touch.. and little things like this make me fall in love with him all over again.  
  
"John..."  
  
"Abby." He laughed.  
  
"you didn't-" I tried saying but he stopped me by putting a finger to my lips and pulling me close to him as he pushed me onto the bed.  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
I'm staring into her eyes, shes underneath me staring back into mine and THIS is heaven. I never want this feeling to go away. She makes me feel so.. complete.. and... so secure.  
  
This is our first night together, married. I'm so nervous. I know, we've slept together before, hell we slept together after we'd only been together technically for 4 hours.... but tonight, it's different. I've been waiting for this moment my whole life.  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
I don't know why I can't sleep. Maybe it's not that I can't, maybe it's that I don't want to. I'm smiling like an idiot. It's permenantly attached to my face, He doesn't seem to mind though, he likes when I smile.It Makes him happy.  
  
John's asleep. my head nestled in the crook of his neck, Like always. his lips on me. I love this. I never want it to end. Someone, stop the time, please. 


	12. He wants More time with me

CARTER:  
  
Abby's been sick for a week and a half. We're leaving tomorrow to go home and I'm really worried about her. She won't let me even take her to the ER and let me or someone else chack her out. She swears she's okay, But something is up.  
  
This is our last night together on our honeymoon. We're lying in bed, it's about midnight, she's asleep in my arms, I'm holding her body close to mine and she's stil burning up. "Carter."  
  
"I thought you were asleep." I whisper.  
  
"Nah." She smiled and then turned serious and looked up at me." I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?" Seriously. I'm puzzled.  
  
"For ruining our honeymoon."  
  
"What?" I'm confused now."You didn't ruin anything."  
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
"No, Abby... you didn't, It was wonderful."  
  
She nodded and burried her head back into my chest."Okay."  
  
There was a silent pause for awhile and she came back with the most difficult question I've ever gotten in my life.  
  
"How do you feel about..kids?"  
  
I turned away not making eye contact.  
  
"Maybe one day, why?"  
  
"Maybe we should try for one now..."  
  
"You want to rush this? I want to spend more time with you, Abby."  
  
After I said That, her grip around me loosened and I could feel something wet on my shoulder. She was crying. She's pregnant.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
I'm not sleeping. I'm ignoring him. Why, why does he not want kids? I don't that bad either, but right now I have no choice.. I want to tell him, but now....  
  
He would make a great dad! I think so. Maybe he's just not up for the responsiblity yet. I don't know. But I can't talk to him now....great. 


	13. Behind You

CARTER:  
  
"Doesn't it feel good to finally be back at this hell hole?" I asked as I inhaled the chicago air.  
  
"No." she snapped looking down.  
  
" Sure it does!" I try to cheer her up.  
  
"NO" she turned to me."It doesn't" she barked as she walked into the ladies room.  
  
I seriously want her to tell me what's going on. I already asked her if she was pregnant and she said, no. But I know she is.. she keeps asking for cookies and ice cream, won't drink her coffee...and keeps throwing up. I'm not gonna force the issue, she'll tell me.. I know she will. won't she? I amble into the lounge to grab my labcoat and susan is parked at a table reading the paper.  
  
"Hey YOU! how was the honeymoon?" she smiled.  
  
"Good." I try smiling." But abby's not feeling too good."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't know, the past few weeks she's been.. I don't know.. distant. She doesn't look at me when she talks..when were in bed, she just wants her 'space'-"  
  
"You think she's pregnant?"  
  
"No, I know she is. She won't tell me though, I don't know why."  
  
"Talk to her, Carter."  
  
"Yeah" I say grabbing my labcoat." She won't listen."  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
God, I just want this to stop. I want to tell him, but I just can't do it. When I want to speak, nothing comes out.. he doesn't HAVE to know, does he?  
  
"Hey" Susan greets me as I slide past Cartr goin out of the lounge.  
  
"What's wrong?" She asks." Carter's kinda concerned about you."  
  
"I know." I turn." Look, I can't seem to find the right time to tell him, but I'm pretty sure.. I'm pregnant."  
  
Susan's jaw dropped and when I realised she wasn't looking at me, I knew he was there, breathin gon me.. Standing directly behind me..  
  
"What?" he asked, his jaw on the floor as well.  
  
"I'll, uh, leave you two alone." Susan smiled and walked out.  
  
We stood in silence for a few moments, me arms crossed head down. Him, pacing. as I closed my eyes to think of something inteligant to say, I felt a familiar touch on my stomach. I opened my eyes and he was smiling back at me.  
  
"Were gonna have a baby?"  
  
I look back at him realising, it's finally okay to let down my guard."Yes." I smile back. "Were gonna have a baby."  
  
He looked down as he ran his fingers lightly over my stomach still smiling."Wow."  
  
I just kept nodding until he pulled me into his arms."Oh, god Abby. This is amazing."  
  
"Your telling me?" I laugh as tears of joy streamed down my face and he wiped them away.  
  
"Come on."  
  
"What?" I ask.  
  
"Were going home." he said as he grabbed my hand and my jacket.  
  
As we walked out in silence and made out way to the parking lot, I couldn't help but ask for one more thing."Carter?"  
  
"yeah?"  
  
"Can we get some ice cream?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"you knew, didn't you?" I ask as he turns to meand gives me a quick kiss.  
  
"Yeah." 


	14. Waiting for Santa

CARTER:  
  
Man, Abby's seven months pregnant already. Time has sure gone by fast, faster then I'd ever imagined. It's really funny though, how now she can't reach anything from the high cabinets without my help (It feels good to be wanted), or when she tries to put her socks on, she rolls around on the bed trying to reach her feet.. (haha)... sometimes I come out of bed in the morning and shes standing up in the kitchen eating cereal and the bowl is resting on her stomach.  
  
"John, Does the tree look crooked?"  
  
"Of course not!" I laugh as I turn my head sideways to support my claim."Oh." I turn red."It is."  
  
"Yeah" She laughs."It is. Fix it"  
  
"Okay, okay." I smile as I get up off my knees and put on a christmas album to get me in the holiday cheer." Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Ro-"  
  
"Shut up!" She giggles "You can't sing." She says as she stars rolling around on the couch. I just slowly walk over to the fridge smiling and pull out her ice cream as I begin to eat it slowly. she starts to yell at me (she can't stand up to get it from me now.)  
  
"That's not funny!" shes getting frustated. I know it. But I still laugh.  
  
"Oh, yes it is!" I laugh as I keep licking it off my index finger.  
  
"Okay, Okay. your a great singer!" She admitted.  
  
"Nah... your just saying that!"  
  
"No , no" she begs" what do you think I married you for?!"  
  
I start to slowly walk over to her."My good looks.. my nice ass..my big-"  
  
"John!"  
  
"I was gonna say bank account..." I smile as I collapse next to her on the couch and let her lick the remaining ice cream off my finger before feeding her some more.  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
Finally! God, I love Ice Cream.It tastes so good... almost better than John. Nah. I love when he feeds me. I'm very independant, but I'd let him do anything for me.  
  
" I can't wait."  
  
"For what?" I ask chewing my ice cream.  
  
"Tomorrows Christmas."  
  
"Yeah." I yawn. "We should get to bed then...Santa's comming soon..." I say seductively.  
  
He smiles as he pulls me up and leads me to the bedroom as he helps me undress and dress (since Im totally incapable) and we climb in bed and he pulls me close to him as I nestle my head into the crook of his neck and close my eyes.. wiating for santa to come.... 


	15. About a Family

CARTER:  
  
"Hey, I'm back with lunch." I smile and lean down and kiss Abby on the forhead to wake her up from her nap on the lounge couch.  
  
"Hey." she smiled at me sleepily." get Ice cream?"  
  
"yeah." I smile and look down at the stack of charts next to her."Are these all your patients?"  
  
"No, no. Kerry doesn't want me to do too much work since Im only a week from my due date."  
  
"You should be at home."  
  
"No way. I'd miss you too much."  
  
"Funny. but you should be at home ya know, why do you have all these charts then?"  
  
"I get to co-sign them for the nurses."  
  
"Oh joy."  
  
"Did you get my Oreos too?"  
  
"Oh god, I'm so sorry. You want me to run and get some?"  
  
"Would you?" She begs me.  
  
"I'll be right back."  
  
You know, ever since she's told me she was pregnant, I've been her slave. She always wants ice cream, or always needs cookies. It's torture! Although I do get rewarded....But Soon it'll be over and we'll both be much happier. Especially her. God, I wonder how it feels to give birth. Wait. no I don't. I deliver 4 babies on a daily basis...I never wanna go through that.  
  
"Where the hell are the Oreos?"  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
He does so much for me, god. I love him. He's been so patient for the past nine months. I really feel bad for him though, it's been that long since we've had sex.. poor him..POOR ME! Well, In eight more days, i'll make him a happy man. It's so funny watching him curl up on the couch and make whimpering noises when were watching romance movies together. Then he gives me the puppy dog eyes until I turn on the football game to "calm him down."  
  
God, I hate doing charts, when did I volunteer for this? oh, thats right. I didn't Weaver made me. Man, I'm sitting here and I feel like I'm sweating.Oh god... that's not sweat on my scrub pants. My water just broke.  
  
"Carter!" I'm such a dumbass, he's not here.. but Luka is right there.. should I? Dammit!"Luka?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"My water broke, can you rush me upstairs?" I say quickley and scared.  
  
"yeah." HE says as he grabs a wheelchair and rolls me to the elevator and up to OB.  
  
"Anything else?" he asks  
  
"Call Carter." I say as I'm wheeled away.  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
there are som any different kinds of Oreos here. Reduced fat.. regular..spring time.. Double Stuffed. Double Stuffed it is!  
  
"Dammit. I'm not on call why is county paging me?" I say under my breath as I walk to the manager and ask to use the phone. He points me to phone and I dial. Susan picks Up.  
  
"County General."  
  
"Susan, It's Carter."  
  
"hold on, I'll give you Luka."  
  
"Luka? Why-"  
  
"Carter get over here quick."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Abby's having the baby..hello?"  
  
I dropped the cookies and ran as fast as I could. I am gonna be a daddy in a few hours. Oh my god! I jump on the EL as soon as it pulls up to the platform and ride it back to the hospital and run up to OB as fast as my legs carried me.  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
" Don't push too hard, just a little bit."  
  
"No! Carter wanted to deliver the baby!"  
  
"Abby your making this so hard!"  
  
"It is!" I yell at the doctor. asI turn my head, I see him through the window, he's scrubbing in. He pushes open the doors and walks to my side and sits down.  
  
"Well, Dr. Carter. I'll stand over here, Is there anyone I should call to assist you?"  
  
"umm.." He turned to me and I nod." get me Dr. Lewis and Chuny Marquez."  
  
"Okay." Dr. Coburn says as she begins to dial the number down to the ER.  
  
"She's only five centimeter dialated...so you have some time."  
  
"thank you." I manage to smile.  
  
"You should've stayed a surgeon." I whisper as I play with the fabric of his scrubs.  
  
"why?"  
  
"Because you're really hot in a surgeons cap and blue scrubs."  
  
"Thanks, but I think the hormones are talking."  
  
"Maybe." I lean back and close my eyes.  
  
"You want an epidural?"  
  
"No, John."  
  
"Okay, Okay." he put his hands up in surrender.  
  
"Ow dammit!"  
  
  
  
CARTER:  
  
Shes squeezing my hand really hard..ouch. God, she's freakishly strong!  
  
"What? Ouch, are you having contractions?"  
  
"Yeah" She said struggling and then relaxing."  
  
"You okay now?" I ask as I slide to the end of the bed and put on some gloves as I check her dialation."Well, now."  
  
"Well now what?"  
  
"We're ready to deliver."  
  
"Susan and Chuny better get here soon. I'm gonna kick Susan's ass!" aLl I can do is shrug and laugh at that comment.  
  
"Hey, did some one call for me?" Susan smiled as she walked in with Chuny.  
  
  
  
ABBY:  
  
" Is she fully dialated?" Susan asked.  
  
"Yeah" Carter smiled.  
  
"Hey, Abby." Chuny said as she sat down next to me and held my hand.  
  
"Thanks Chuny."  
  
"No problem, I live for Lamaz."  
  
"Oh god!" I scream and begin to push.  
  
"Okay, Abby. on three." He looked at me and got in place."One....two....three."  
  
I screamed as loud as I could and pushes as hard as i could I thought I was going to burst, I could feel the red hotness of my face as I breathed.  
  
"And relax." he smiled again." The head is out Abby. one more push.. one.. two.. three!"  
  
I screamed again and pushed again.. suddenly a few seconds later.. I hear crying. It's my baby.  
  
Carter stood up and walked the baby over to me, after he cleaned him off, in a blue blanket."It's a boy." He said as tears streamed down his face and he sat next to me handing me the baby.  
  
"We'll leave you two alone." Susan said dragging Chuny out.  
  
"Congrats!" Chuny yelled as the door slammed behind her.  
  
"I'm so proud of you." he said as he wiped my hair out of my face and leaned in and kissed me.  
  
"Me? You delivered him!" I laugh as the baby tightens his little grip on my finger. His cheeks are so rosy..he looks like John.  
  
"You gave birth. I could never do that."  
  
"True." Say and we sit in silence for a few seconds."His name." I begin.  
  
"Anything you want." He smiles." I know. Eric"  
  
All I could do was smile and nod."I love it.."  
  
"Okay, then." He looked at the baby and rubbed his cheek. "Eric Carter."  
  
"what about all the Johns in the family?"  
  
"Who cares." he laughed. " Im not my father. screw that."  
  
"no. John Eric Carter."  
  
"I like that better." He says." John, like his daddy"  
  
"He looks like you too, Dad."  
  
"Oh no. I hope it's not the nose!" he laughed. and we both laughed as we looked down at our son who let out a little yawn. he's tired, he's been through alot today.  
  
I finally have an answer to the question people always ask.....Yeah, He makes me happy. 


End file.
